There are many theories that I never agreed with, so, I selected who is suitable for my opinion and experiences. In the first topic, the theory was talking about understanding a group in the context of psychodynamic systems and as a cultural factor. The concept was analyzing and recognizing people’s consciousness and unconsciousness. I went ahead and used the paradox of boundaries since it explained how much our relationships are affected. The Experiential learning theory was specific for the adults and thus, the concept fits our situation. Boundaries: drawing the line theory showed the invisible line which was well explained. The invisible line included the projection so, the concept was appropriate for my experience in her and now.
Then I used literature on racial and cultural group dynamic theory because I needed to prove and continue the story that I experienced in her and now. Progressive models theory was also crucial in order to finish my example in her and now. I chose progressive models theory because the models explain about the stages of group’s relationship and the termination of the group. I later used the boundaries: drawing the lines theory because I believed in the culture of differentiation and not racial culture as such, I shared my experience with her and now. I was satisfied with this theory since the consciousness and unconsciousness have a strong hand in directing individuals.
For example, I was watching Dirk, Erika and myself, we all have the same unconscious reaction because we are all parents with kids. To be a parent, you need to have special skills and be more flexible. Authorized protect personality is a public behavior that is seen mainly by parents. So, Dirk had this attitude of trying to protect us especially the members who were close to him physically. I analyzed his behavior and learned that what he did was normal. Usually, a father protects his kids and what he did proved that he is a good person. However, Kathy felt bored because she did not have that parent feeling.
So, this situation consequence of some individuals and particularly group members made a small gap. After our group dealt with that situation Kathy understood. However, I am certain explaining the conscious reaction reduced that gap. The reason that makes me know the confusion was fixed is that I saw Kathy and Derek hold a conversation and they were comfortable after that. Analyzing and describing a conscious reaction which is gained from an unconscious feeling makes the group members understand each other and publish the trust and confidence between them.
Another example of my proof was my experience with Ellen’s smile. She had an impression of a rough smile through impacting and making a big question mark at her first impression. She was creating her boundaries to make sure we followed her structure. Actually, it was not easy for everybody because we came from different backgrounds and cultures. But as a leader, she needs to know how to lead or control various situations. That would be a symbolic physical reaction to direct our emotions in a positive way.
Boundaries can be used to observe and personate the measurement between inside and outside group members and also to manage member’s time and own space. For instance, Ellen used the rope game to build boundaries for everybody. She made two bonds with each rope for each member and told us that we are not allowed to touch the other member’s rope. After that, she taught us to use one hand only as we followed her structure without voice or body language’s communication. We were only allowed to move only. For me, the rope game was my first I did not recognize why or what was the meaning of rope game but after reading the open system theory, I understood the idea.
The objective of the game to drive the rules openly and to watch everyone’s reaction and determine if we could follow her structure and create our boundaries using the right method. She was watching us from above to establish everyone’s interaction and if we were concerned about performing the task. She was looking for who was leading in the group and what hand we used. Definitely, she got all the answers she was looking for. First, when I caught the rope I did it using my left hand though I was not sure what was going on. Then, I realized I did not understand because usually I use the right hand.
The left-hand means the unconscious part of me was directing me to relax and so I left the game because I was physically tired. Thus, I learned that the unconscious behavior is a basic assumption creates an attitude in people. The second thing that happened is that Vincent P who was the leader and who was also directing us led the group to finish the game. He thought he had heard Ellen’s but it was not her voice, it was his unconscious part which was tired and this made him think the game is over. The third structure that stopped us from communicating by voice or body language was to teach us to focus on our personal characters.
This game taught me to gain more knowledge of individual group members. It enhanced my skill to have and open my mind, especially when structuring a team by making rules and publishing them then watch for the outcome which includes behaviors and task. So, after many processes, I could be able to have an answer and have a fair judgment otherwise it would be an unfair choice. Erika cried, this showed me how sadness and circumstances left a less visible border. All the members of the group were crying physically and some emotionally. That position created some comfortable feeling between us even if it was an unhappy attitude.
I believed in leading people emotionally first then physically. According to this theory, I realized that we all had exactly what it mentioned. I noticed many things about myself and other people. For instance, during our processed and studied group we faced and analyzed our issues fast. My experience from here and now made me picture the behavior of each member of the group and my notices were true. This was assisted by the fact that I already had courses that used body language and customer service. As such, my information helped me to understand other members.
Besides that, Derek and Erika were understandable people. I realized that they understood me exactly when I talked because we had close experiences in life. For example, I tried to relief Vincent’s sadness by telling him you are a worker not the boss and I meant a positive thing, I used worker’s word to explain to him that he was forced to do that job it was not his choice. Unfortunately, most of the group members thought the opposite except Derek and Erika since they understood my attitude. So, that theory showed adults could be more affected in terms of their relations because of their experiences.
However, after the sad part was over, I was faced with a negative question that came from Sonya. I was surprised by her tough question. She blamed me for using the term worker. I agreed with her that it was a mistake though to me, she came out as an awful person, especially during her discussion. So, during the processed group I was curious to know why her reaction was different than before. I was shocked when I knew it was because of projection but not caring for the other. I was now able to distinguish between caring for a person and the feeling a projection brings.
Sonya had a horrible experience with her white employer who was pushing her around like garbage. Thus, her projection was linked to my words and my color and the situation she faced which caused this unacceptable reaction. This theory approved my experiences of her and now by mentioning. After I read this theory I realized why she had happy eyes when I was crying in the bathroom. I was wondering why she looked at me this way. I thought she should be sad for me not looking at me with happy eyes. Whatever the reason, most people carry their own past, culture or present experience to other places.
In my opinion, I agree with the theory because the projection behavior affects a relationship. Actually, I was more depressed after the bathroom situation and this affected my feeling. I was questioning myself why she tried to be nice but her eyes said the opposite. Another example, she seemed as an aggressive person she felt that nobody is going to like her if she does not react nicely. She felt also that she was not beautiful. For all these reasons, she created a negative projection. Then we discovered why she was awful during the meeting and rope activities. She was explaining her real personality during the activities and tried to be nice during conversations.
After this situation, I believed that an individual message could lead the group to have a positive or negative communication. Observing and recognizing how the projection operates opened my mind and directed me to become an understandable person. Moreover, after Ellen recognized Sonya’s unconscious and conscious issues, she started to feed her emotion by requesting her to sit in the middle of our group. After that, she allowed us to explain our feelings toward her. That situation planted a positive emotion inside her and immediately her interaction and facial expression were satisfying. So, this theory agreed with our situation and mentioned issues related to development.
The forming stage brings confusion, mystery, question, and discomfort. The boundaries and guidance unknown to members do not recognize what is the acceptable or unacceptable attitude. That situation was fitting during the first day of our class. For instance, the professor was late with three hours; the first hour was questioning about her lateness the second hour she brought papers accompanied with her assistant to write down our information. After we finished the writing we started to introduce ourselves which was a good thing at that time but her lateness and her assistant’s behavior were unusual. We assumed that Santa had depressed her day or her task to act like that.
Finally, the professor Ellen came wearing a black hat with no good morning only wearing a tough face. All the group members were surprised and questioned what was happening. She did not mention or say anything as a normal professor, she only stopped us from talking and requested us to do a small group then take a poster to write our private information. I was shocked and I did not prefer to write my personal information but it was a requirement, not a choice. During our writing, I was talking with my classmates about her reaction but no one gave in to my demands.
So, was she an ambiguous person? Because she only gave an order which stroked us as a tough behavior. After we finished the poster she ordered us to play ball games and teach each other without any comment which was still a strange attitude. I felt that this was a boring class. I felt I was wasting my time doing stupid things and this feeling was felt by most of my classmates. The cards game came after the ball games. As I was playing the card game, I thought I should create a goal from the card to avoid unusual atmosphere. I won and felt happy which produced a new concept.
Beth excused Ellen to go to the restroom but her reaction was horrible and unbelievable. We were wondering why she did that. This point meant something and thus, I started to focus on her body language. After that occurred, most of the members were thinking and questioning about her unconscionable reaction. But we were starting to have a good guess from her mysterious act. We were concerned with understanding what was going on but we could not find an answer.
The nice professor finally took off her black hat starting to elicit our feeling of it. At that moment, I felt like I had left prison because she smiled. I think my classmates had the same emotion but still needed an answer for her performance. There was anxiety since she tried to increase our conflict by her conversation. For example, she said to do whatever you want I am going to listen to your discussion. We wanted to continue introducing ourselves but suddenly she stopped us and rejected our conversation. All the members had the same reaction a questioning face. She requested to be silent for some minutes which was still a big question mark.
Then after lunch time she requested us to draw what we did during our lunch time. It is a child class. So, the purpose of that method was to create a questioning behavior and develop our relationship with communication more. The next step during the progress group was the storming stage. This step was to control the conflict and have a clear answer about what happened before and the reason for that performance. So, we had the same process the leader starting to explain her performance why she acted like that and what was the reason that made her wear a black hat.
It was an interesting day to discover the mysterious situations. First the black hat and her tough performance were to create the bridge that could help us to communicate and have a good atmosphere for a relationship. For example, she divided us into small groups then she requested us to play by performing different kinds of activities. She chose the game because it helped us to be more interactive with each other and perfect a way to communicate without her intervention. The drawing she requested was to determine who will follow her orders and who will not. So, some of the members rejected the order and did the opposite.
In addition, Beth was still very angry and refused Ellen‘s attitude during the first day and she refused to accept her explanation because she thought Ellen’s reaction was not good. Erika’s situation was different, she had lost someone from her relative and was crying from time to time. That situation created sadness and a quiet atmosphere. Each member was crying but in a different way. Some of them were crying physically and others emotionally. So, the grief circumstance developed empowers the relation between us. The next step is the norming stage, where the members become cohesive and can narrate and share their personal life.
It happened that in our group; the third day everyone was more comfortable and trust circulated. The example from our group was the collaboration of Derek’s story. He narrated most of his personal life. His story was affecting our relation and we came out as very cohesive after hearing him. We were protecting him by our positive messages. As such, I told him he is a successful man because he still fights for his dream’s career. Others described him as a hero. I realized that a few words create unbelievable power in people’s feeling and a few stories enhance and develop relationships. Performing was the next stage of the progressive group. It showed which relations had been gained in collaboration. Members could resolve their interpersonal confusion. It is an amazing stage to understand the conflict and have a solution. Conflicting has two parts which could come between people or between one self’s. The self’s issues arise when there is a problem in the unconscious mind than the conscious mind gets it after that trouble happens. Vincent.P felt our members ignored him. So, as a member of the group to avoid noisy situation he made actions in the last round of the rope game by leading us to finish the activity although he did not receive permission from the leader.
As a cohesiveness group, we started to send him positive messages until he felt he was right. Verbal messages could affect and resolve issues more than anything. Thus, this step is the most important stage for human relationships especially an invisible problem that makes the relation difficult to continue. For instance, she and now experience built and planted a strong relationship between us. The last step, which had mixed feelings was known as the adjourning stage. This stage feeds the members with experiences and lessons.
Opening a wide road for strong relationships. We exchanged our experiences and learned how to deal with different cultures and backgrounds. For example, the last candy activity was meant to describe how much we were close to each other because we were able to catch many toys at the same time without mistake. That game showed me how much knowledge we gained. We had an advanced level of practicing our task. Emotionally, I had confusion that day I could not describe my feeling but I felt safe because we exchanged our contact numbers and we made a sweet group.
I agreed what the theory mentioned because people usually get attracted to whom they have a similarity. In addition, I realized that this tendency has two boundaries which could be physical or psychological. The physical boundary is unspoken because it can create a problem among the people. But psychological boundary is more public. For example, our group had different colors and culture. The color created some distance for some members such as Derek, Farah, Erika, and Sonya. These members tried to create their own boundaries at first because they had their own color and had a closer culture.
Derek was the only man among the three African women and he was protecting them as much as he could. The second part was this two sisters who lived their own life they were alone most of the time even when we had a study or process group. So, different cultures and colors planted this decision. Our group had different boundaries marked with age, color, background and religion but after few days, most of the boundaries were removed after knowing about each other almost everything. The point here is that in our group there was confidence, safety, and trust.
For example, the meeting was the second day when we were still an incoherent group so all the members of the group did not allow others to touch their own boundaries because we were not ready yet. Another example, the accident that happened to me when I was walking to the train station. It was a horrible day because I don’t like to hurt humans and I would like the same thing done to me. The sad thing was that I could not stop crying in the train and also in the school. I was surprised at my reaction because I had never cried in front of people. At that moment, I felt like I was in my family, so this situation proved and showed me how much I communicated with them. So, I got rid of my boundaries. Vincent .V also had the same feeling he cried because he felt safe and confident between us. So, boundaries will always be there but people’s attitude and behavior can remove those thick boundaries.